Love's Progress Notes

My mom quietly and calmly pushed through the ER curtain to see our infant daughter, whom was being admitted for a medical concern. It was already a challenging week as my dad was in the ICU at another hospital. We had been reaching out in support to our mom and asking what she needed. Yet, there she was comforting me and my daughter, praying and offering kind words, singing our baby’s favorite song “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star”, and wiping little tears away as nurses struggled to get her IV in. She found the ability in her weary arms to extend love and strength to me, a distressed mom trying to comfort her own baby. What an amazing mom. What a wonderful grandma.

Love from a mom is a beautiful thing. It brings strength in our weakest of times. It is designed to reach when it’s been overextended. It gives peace during life’s unexpected storms. And most of all, the love of a mom never fades and never ends.

I was dropping off my young children at my parents’ home so I could head to work. As I slowly pulled out of their driveway, I admired their beautiful flower garden that extended the side of their home. I thought about my own flower garden that was a quarter of the size and pitiful with weeds. I thought , “I wish I could grow a flower garden like that.” I heard a response that humbled my heart say, “but you already are growing a beautiful flower garden.”

It was true. I was raising two beautiful young girls. I was sowing into their lives each day with affection, attention, and life lessons. Moments with little ones cannot be bought, replaced, or redone. They are precious and limited. But in a moment of frustration, I had begun to think of all the things that my current life would not allow. The heartfelt volunteer project, the complex DIY project, the remodeled and spotless home, and that beautiful flower garden.

Between tending to my kids, growing a career, and maintaining a deep rooted marriage, there was not much time left over to accomplish other things. The other things would have to wait. Just like in a well planned flower garden, not everything in life blooms at once. Spending my time wishing for the summer lilies while the spring daffodils are in bloom, only brings regret later. Right now, I have the chance to enjoy cuddles, bedtime stories, and catching fireflies. Later, I’ll be part of college visits and weddings. Instead of wishing for the life in a different season, I should connect with the present, love my kids, and enjoy the bloom.

“Mom, I miss you when I’m at school”, my new Kindergartner said with tears in her eyes. I reassured her with hugs and shared an illustration with her. “There’s a string that connects from my heart to your heart. It stretches and bends all the way from home to your school. And it stretches when Mommy goes to work. When you think of Mommy, it’s because I tugged on that string when I was thinking of you and missing you too. Go ahead. Tug it as hard as you can. See, nothing can break it.” Each day, I kept reassuring her by helping her picture what our bond looks like. Her discomfort with being away from home and her family gradually disappeared each day. Then, one day, she didn’t seem to miss us much and looked forward to seeing her friends at school. Success.

Our bond with our children is strong and endless. When we take the time and meet their daily needs, they feel secure and safe. We are their sole source of safety and security. We cannot spoil them by building them up and loving them. This secure and safe feeling allows them to become more independent and confident. Confidence is necessary in making healthy choices, developing healthy relationships, and pursuing a successful future. The more we can find ways to promote safety and security in our children while they are young, the more successful in life they can become. Strengthen those bonds and build them up so they can fly.

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