Meant To Be

September 22, 2017

On our wedding day, our pastor had us repeat a phrase throughout our ceremony: “we were meant to be together”. This phrase has resonated in my heart throughout our marriage, even in moments when it has felt like we couldn’t be any more different. God brings people together. We participate in choosing our spouse, and most of the time, we have no choice in the children we have.

Several years into our marriage, we had two gorgeous girls and were happily expecting our third baby. But we found ourselves sitting in a waiting room of my specialist’s office after receiving news that something appeared to be wrong. We heard a number of concerning findings, potential diagnoses, and all the unsettling statistics. As we looked at the ultrasound pictures of our beautiful baby, we tearfully promised we would do whatever it took to care for our child, no matter the condition or disability. Finding out the gender ahead of time was not my thing. I enjoyed surprises, but this was not the surprise I was looking for. That day I couldn’t go home with just bad news but needed to go home with wonderful news. And that’s when we heard it. “It’s a girl!” All we could do was just laugh. My wonderful doctor replied, “it doesn’t matter. They all grow up and leave anyway.” He was wisely speaking from experience, as he raised three girls himself.

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Through all of our appointments, ultrasounds, good news, and concerning news, we had a beautiful image of hope. Anytime I was afraid for my baby, I would hold on to that image of that beautiful tiny girl. As we began sharing the good news, we heard a variety of condolences for her being another girl, especially for my husband. Her gender was the least of our worries. It wasn’t a worry at all. My baby could be born with a genetic abnormality or a serious health condition. Those are real worries. But even so, born healthy, with a disability or challenge, boy, or girl, who am I to argue with God about His wonderful craftsmanship, His ultimate plan, or His sovereignty? She was fearfully and wonderfully made. End of story. God gives us the children we are meant to have, and we are given as a gift to our children. What a wonderful exchange of gifts. Finally, the wonderful day came, and she was born healthy and amazingly beautiful. Another gorgeous girl. Thank you, Heavenly Father.

So, if you come across our simple little family with three girls, please don’t give your condolences. We have too much to celebrate for that. It feels too right for sympathies. I’m not a mom without a son. I’m a mom raising 3 amazing daughters. My husband is not a dad with a disappointment. He’s a man entrusted with three gifts. They aren’t girls without a brother. They are sisters that have each other. We are forever grateful and blessed, because we were meant to be together.

Enduring Love

August 27, 2017

My mom quietly and calmly pushed through the ER curtain to see our infant daughter, whom was being admitted for a medical concern. It was already a challenging week as my dad was in the ICU at another hospital. We had been reaching out in support to our mom and asking what she needed. Yet, there she was comforting me and my daughter, praying and offering kind words, singing our baby’s favorite song “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star”, and wiping little tears away as nurses struggled to get her IV in. She found the ability in her weary arms to extend love and strength to me, a distressed mom trying to comfort her own baby. What an amazing mom. What a wonderful grandma.

Love from a mom is a beautiful thing. It brings strength in our weakest of times. It is designed to reach when it’s been overextended. It gives peace during life’s unexpected storms. And most of all, the love of a mom never fades and never ends.

Enjoy The Bloom

July 14, 2017

I was dropping off my young children at my parents’ home so I could head to work. As I slowly pulled out of their driveway, I admired their beautiful flower garden that extended the side of their home. I thought about my own flower garden that was a quarter of the size and pitiful with weeds. I thought , “I wish I could grow a flower garden like that.” I heard a response that humbled my heart say, “but you already are growing a beautiful flower garden.”

It was true. I was raising two beautiful young girls. I was sowing into their lives each day with affection, attention, and life lessons. Moments with little ones cannot be bought, replaced, or redone. They are precious and limited. But in a moment of frustration, I had begun to think of all the things that my current life would not allow. The heartfelt volunteer project, the complex DIY project, the remodeled and spotless home, and that beautiful flower garden.

Between tending to my kids, growing a career, and maintaining a deep rooted marriage, there was not much time left over to accomplish other things. The other things would have to wait. Just like in a well planned flower garden, not everything in life blooms at once. Spending my time wishing for the summer lilies while the spring daffodils are in bloom, only brings regret later. Right now, I have the chance to enjoy cuddles, bedtime stories, and catching fireflies. Later, I’ll be part of college visits and weddings. Instead of wishing for the life in a different season, I should connect with the present, love my kids, and enjoy the bloom.

Heartstrings

June 13, 2017

“Mom, I miss you when I’m at school”, my new Kindergartner said with tears in her eyes. I reassured her with hugs and shared an illustration with her. “There’s a string that connects from my heart to your heart. It stretches and bends all the way from home to your school. And it stretches when Mommy goes to work. When you think of Mommy, it’s because I tugged on that string when I was thinking of you and missing you too. Go ahead. Tug it as hard as you can. See, nothing can break it.” Each day, I kept reassuring her by helping her picture what our bond looks like. Her discomfort with being away from home and her family gradually disappeared each day. Then, one day, she didn’t seem to miss us much and looked forward to seeing her friends at school. Success.

Our bond with our children is strong and endless. When we take the time and meet their daily needs, they feel secure and safe. We are their sole source of safety and security. We cannot spoil them by building them up and loving them. This secure and safe feeling allows them to become more independent and confident. Confidence is necessary in making healthy choices, developing healthy relationships, and pursuing a successful future. The more we can find ways to promote safety and security in our children while they are young, the more successful in life they can become. Strengthen those bonds and build them up so they can fly.