On our wedding day, our pastor had us repeat a phrase throughout our ceremony: “we were meant to be together”. This phrase has resonated in my heart throughout our marriage, even in moments when it has felt like we couldn’t be any more different. God brings people together. We participate in choosing our spouse, and most of the time, we have no choice in the children we have.
Several years into our marriage, we had two gorgeous girls and were happily expecting our third baby. But we found ourselves sitting in a waiting room of my specialist’s office after receiving news that something appeared to be wrong. We heard a number of concerning findings, potential diagnoses, and all the unsettling statistics. As we looked at the ultrasound pictures of our beautiful baby, we tearfully promised we would do whatever it took to care for our child, no matter the condition or disability. Finding out the gender ahead of time was not my thing. I enjoyed surprises, but this was not the surprise I was looking for. That day I couldn’t go home with just bad news but needed to go home with wonderful news. And that’s when we heard it. “It’s a girl!” All we could do was just laugh. My wonderful doctor replied, “it doesn’t matter. They all grow up and leave anyway.” He was wisely speaking from experience, as he raised three girls himself.
Through all of our appointments, ultrasounds, good news, and concerning news, we had a beautiful image of hope. Anytime I was afraid for my baby, I would hold on to that image of that beautiful tiny girl. As we began sharing the good news, we heard a variety of condolences for her being another girl, especially for my husband. Her gender was the least of our worries. It wasn’t a worry at all. My baby could be born with a genetic abnormality or a serious health condition. Those are real worries. But even so, born healthy, with a disability or challenge, boy, or girl, who am I to argue with God about His wonderful craftsmanship, His ultimate plan, or His sovereignty? She was fearfully and wonderfully made. End of story. God gives us the children we are meant to have, and we are given as a gift to our children. What a wonderful exchange of gifts. Finally, the wonderful day came, and she was born healthy and amazingly beautiful. Another gorgeous girl. Thank you, Heavenly Father.
So, if you come across our simple little family with three girls, please don’t give your condolences. We have too much to celebrate for that. It feels too right for sympathies. I’m not a mom without a son. I’m a mom raising 3 amazing daughters. My husband is not a dad with a disappointment. He’s a man entrusted with three gifts. They aren’t girls without a brother. They are sisters that have each other. We are forever grateful and blessed, because we were meant to be together.
Beautifully said and I could not agree more. It doesn’t matter boy or girl, they are each a gift from God.
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