“I don’t understand it. I reach out and call, and they don’t call back unless they need something. I tell them things in private, and they openly criticize me and talk about me. I am happy for them, and they don’t even seem to notice my accomplishments. It’s like I’m invisible.” Maybe this sounds familiar. Maybe this FEELS familiar. Sometimes, those you assume should and would be there are far from supportive. They are not just on a different page but are on a completely different book series, in a different genre, by a different author. They are in the same room, but are light years away.
It’s wonderful to have a circle. Family, friends, and acquaintances that are near and dear. Those you see often and can easily reach. Ones that are connected to you in multiple ways and those you see on holidays. We are meant to have relationships. We are meant to connect. We are meant to have a familiar circle. But not everyone in our circle is supportive, get us, or are even our people. They may even share your DNA or same last name. There’s always one (at least!). Sometimes, they ignore us. Sometimes, they don’t even like us. Sometimes, they are just plain toxic.
Don’t find people that are just in your circle. Find those that are in your corner.
Find the people that will cheer your wins with enthusiasm and encourage you with hope in your losses. Those that will say “I can see you doing that” when you share a new bucket list goal. Those that will help you pick yourself up when you fall. Those that look for ways to include you. Those that will pamper you with care when you’re all beat up. Those that will just sit with you in silence when there are no words. Those that will tell you the hard truths when you would rather they say what you want to hear instead. The ones that will tell you you’re wrong and the reasons they’re concerned (and you actually listen). But having people in your corner means you are in their corner too. You don’t just take but you give. Because when they win, you win too. And they know when you win, they’re gonna win too.
Your corner can be made of family. The ones closest to you. It can be made of friends. Sometimes, it’s the ones you talk to every so often but pick back up where you left off like time was put on pause. And sometimes it’s only for a season. Sometimes, it’s a lot of people. Sometimes, it’s just a few. Sometimes, it’s just your dog and Jesus. Sometimes, it’s just you and Jesus. And, sometimes, we’re left asking, “Jesus, you still there?”
Whoever it is that is in your corner, appreciate them and be grateful for them. Listen to your corner, feel their support, and take heed. And be grateful for, encourage, and listen to yourself especially when you’re the only one. You’re in it to win it. You’ve got your eye on the prize. And be grateful you’re still in the corner because that means you haven’t given up. Instead, you’re still fighting the good fight.